I recently had the privilege of hearing John C. Maxwell speak. He is the author of a book that I recommend to everyone titled "Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success". Mr. Maxwell is a former minister turned author and public speaker. His book is a must reading for anyone suffering any type of failure in life and puts into very understandable language why we need failure to succeed.
Many of us hitting our sixties in these trying times may be thinking about past events that did not go right in our life. For that matter, a person at any age may feel like a failure for many reasons but it seems to be easier to do as we age. This is especially true if we are part of the two thirds of the working population that has little to no retirement savings and are staring at social security plus (hopefully) a limited pension as our only income sources to live.
In looking at my personal situation, I for one could look back and fix blame on many different events and decisions that I experienced over the years for not achieving certain goals. I could find it very easy to feel sorry for myself on things I do not have or failed to achieve because of them. In reality, as I have aged, I have found it more difficult to rebound from a failure or mistake and easier to blame circumstances on things out of my control. I know this is wrong. This is where books like 'Falling Forward' bring me back to a more positive mindset. Consequently, now when I feel this way, it is for only a few minutes, not days, weeks or months. It's a choice and I choose to make it this way.
At one time or another, we are all victims of feeling sorry for ourselves because we do not have what we think we should have. We feel like a failure. The truth is, there are so many ways of measuring success in life, it is very difficult to determine what success is or what failure is. This makes measuring success and failure an unreliable science at best. For example, is having money in the bank but poor personal relationships a success or failure? Is having a great family and plenty of friends but no money a success or failure? Is having a good steady job and income doing something you really do not like to do a success or failure? Or, is doing something you love to do but not making a good income a success or failure? The scenarios for what could be a success or a failure are unlimited.
Here's the message I want to share with you. I have learned that feeling sorry for myself gains nothing. I have also learned that every time I think I have failed, it was only another door opening for me to step through. The choice has always been mine alone not somebody else's. Whether I step forward and go on to the next opportunity is an attitude and mindset that I choose. Dwelling on the reasons why I was in a particular negative situation, always seemed like such a waste of time to me. It was like having a flat tire on my car and looking around for someone to blame. Fix the tire and get going!
As we age, we put pressure on ourselves for what we have or do not have. This pressure is usually blaming ourselves or someone else. The fact that we may feel older or look older only compounds this feeling of blame. Looking in the mirror doesn't help when someone with wrinkles and thinning hair stares back. The only thing that really works is the understanding and acceptance that everything goes in cycles and that it is up to us to make sure that the down cycle is much shorter than the up cycle.
In summary, we can choose how we live life. If you are in your forties and fifties, do not look back in regret that you have left your youth behind and your better days are gone. Look forward and use the lessons of your past to establish the foundation for your future. If you are in your sixties, seventies or even older, the same rule applies. Do not look at yourself and feel that you have no time left to achieve or accomplish something. Instead look at all your assets that include education, experiences, contacts, friends and family. And above all else, do not focus on financial condition alone. Sure, money is an obvious requirement if you want to do anything you want but it is only a portion of what makes life rewarding. If you want to stay working, stay productive and remain a contributor helping someone else or some business to be successful, look at all your assets, your skills, talents and abilities. They are very valuable to somebody else. I have learned that regardless of what it is, if you have something to sell, there is somebody looking to buy. (This is where you can use the "Over60Exchange Skills Bank" to highlight personal skills, talents and abilities)
Remember, life is full of choices. You can choose to look at your failures as lessons or your lack of success as 'stepping stones'. It is up to you.